akalain mo?

So. End of August. Tomorrow's Christmas. What with the -ber month and all. Haha.

Anywho. I'm glad to say my August turned out to be quite fruitful, mainly because I was able to finally--FINALLY!--file my LOI at Nu Skin so I could be an Executive with the company. Though truth is I'm still not quite sure how that happened. All I know is I really really wanted to do that so there, it happened. And I filed it on his birthday to boot. Not that it's a really big deal, but I just thought it quite ironic since he's so opposed to it in the first place. Oh well.

I hope September's even more productive. God help me.

busy getting closer to my dreams

Just got home. Had a rather tiring but productive day. Did a product demo in Batangas in the morning. Dropped off my CV at the local cable company. Met up with a friend in Alabang to discuss the business. And now here I am in Makati.

I'm so glad I went to Alabang. Despite the fact that I have never been to the place where I was supposed to go and have no idea how to get there. Rather, precisely because of that. See, I managed to arrive there in one piece and on time. I thought going to Makati would be a problem too since I again have no idea how to get here from Alabang, but God is good and I was able to hitch a ride from Venus and Fercy.

Tomorrow is gonna be another busy day. God help me.

yes, you CAN have it all...

me: i have just one last question for you: if the time comes, between me and your career, would you be able to choose? and which one would you choose? just curious.
him: it doesn't matter i'd still be left with nothing in the end.

No, I am not upset that he didn't choose me. Truth is I didn't even expect him to. But I didn't expect this answer either. Yet in a curious way, it touched me more than if he'd said he'd choose me.

I guess it's his way of thinking that got to me--like so many times before. Just when I think I've got him figured out, he says something that completely throws me off the track. And makes me realize all over again why we clicked right from the start. Little surprises every now and then can be really sweet. Especially if you take the time to savor it and end up surprising yourself even more with the residual smile it brings.

Besides, his words echo of the "BOTH" mentality which I'm still striving to attain. Meaning, you don't have to choose because you can have both. Yes, you can have it all. It's just a matter of conditioning the mind to accept that such a thing is possible. Everything just follows after that.

maybe i could dance my paranoia away? o.O

Okay, I get it now. I could choose how to start my day. Had a sucky morning yesterday because of my own paranoia--I let it get the best of me instead of rising above it. Stupid mistake, but at least I've learned. And that's the whole purpose of making mistakes, right? So charge it to experience and move on.

On a completely unrelated note, I have been having this rising urge to dance lately. Ballroom, hip-hop, whatever. I want to feel the music, just let the rhythm take over me. I miss dancing. One thing I regret now is not joining the dance or theater group when I had the chance, back in elementary and high school. Oh well.

Come on, lets's dance!

^_^

it all boils down to the decision

This day started out spectacularly sucky--I had a rather heated argument with Franco right after I woke up. What a rude awakening, eh? And our conversation ended on a vague note and truth is I wasn't sure if we're okay yet. So you could just imagine where the depression was coming from.

Anywho, I made up my mind that instead of just letting the whole thing get to me and ruin my whole day, I should get out of the room and its negative vibes and be with happy, positive people. In short, go meet with my team in the Nu Skin office. So that's what I did.

It's hard to wallow in self-pity or such when you're surrounded by all that positive energy. Really. You see, it's not just a business for me. It's also become a way of life. Because of this, I was finally able to shed most of the angst of the last ten or so years of my life. No kidding. Even the closest of my friends have a hard time believing that I--the queen of depression and sarcastic comments--could be this optimistic, yet could not deny that I indeed changed.

So there I was, just hanging out there and letting the morning's bad aftertaste slowly dissipate. It helped a bit that Rico was honing his makeup skills on Weng and In when I arrived, and proceeded to do my face too. Nah, I'm not a makeup-wearing kikay type of girl, but I do enjoy being prettified every now and then. Especially when I'm feeling down. Haha.

My productivity went up along with my mood. I was able to set up an appointment for a Galvanic Spa demo and make some important calls. Not too bad for half a day's work.

Oh, and yeah, I'm due for the medical examination tomorrow for the job I was applying for. Barring any untoward incidents, I'll probably be starting next week. Coolness.

you're NEVER gonna bring me down

Another day, a not-so-great start. Just makes me want to cry another bucketful more. Shit.

But never mind. Rather, mind over matter. I won't let this get me down. I'll go out, do what I have to do and have fun in the process. Even if all I wanna do right now is roll back under the covers, clutch my favorite sarong-turned-blanket and bawl like there's no tomorrow.

seems i'm still human after all...

For the first time in a long time, I cried again.

the start of a better ME

Action.

It's what's been lacking from my Grand Plan all my life. Too many missed opportunities that could have led to success. There's always the procrastination, excuses, the passiveness. There's not enough of that go-and-get-them attitude. All this time, I've been coasting on luck and chance, not relying on my own abilities as I should have been doing.

All these I confirmed as I listened to Pax earlier. He's one of NSE's top leaders and our group had a meeting with him earlier. More than just dishing out advice, he forced us to see what we choose not to see. Does that make sense? Or to put it in another way, he forced us to look for the answers to our own questions within ourselves.

It may sound rather pointless, but the truth is sometimes we just really need someone better or wiser than ourselves to voice out what we know but are too afraid or too lazy to point out. It reaffirms our own belief system to the point where we want to do something about it. To take the necessary action and make right that which went wrong. And that's exactly what happened to most of us in the group.

So from now on, I am taking every opportunity thrown my way and making the most of it. God help me.

new LOVE

Okay, it's official. I am now in love with Ava Puhi Moni shampoo.

After 48 years of being urged by friends to give it a try, I finally gave in this morning and used it. I was a bit surprised at the consistency--it was thicker than your average shampoo. Honestly, I didn't feel any difference after shampooing. In fact, I was like, "So this is it?"

But when I met up with my friends, they were like, "Ang ganda ng buhok mo ngayon, ang ganda ng bagsak." I told them afterwards that I used the Ava Puhi Moni that morning and they were like, "I told you so! And that's just with one wash." Okay, sue me for being so stubborn.

Just the same I'm really chuffed about my new discovery. Whee! ^_^

too much of a good thing

Had to reschedule the interview because of an upset stomach. Ate too darn much seafood and chocolates at the welcome dinner last night. But can you really blame me? I mean, I LOVE seafood and there were plenty [shrimps, crabs and calamari galore!] laid out literally in front of me. Just how do you expect me to have just a little?

expanding social circle, eh?

I'm so glad I went to the CS dinner at Dampa organized by Kaycee Sevilla of CS Manila. And it was a good thing too that In came with me. We met a lot of great people and had a lot of fun and laughs. I guess going out of your comfort zone can really be rewarding, as this experience taught me.

Rapunzel, Rapunzel...

Okay, so I'm obsessed with curly hair. That's why I sooooooo loved Emmy Rossum's locks and Franco's hair when it was long--he's had it shorn by this time by the way. It has always been my frustration having straight tresses instead. Of course I could have it permed or curled, but I don't want to risk the damage the processing could do to my hair. Growing out my hair to its current hip-length glory(?) is no mean feat, especially since I have never run a comb through it since college started. I kid you not.

As of the moment, I have no immediate plans of cutting any considerable length, only a trim every now and then. I've considered having the ends curled and then cutting them off when they get too dry or damaged or whatever, but for that I need even longer hair so that I'll still have long locks left when I cut them off. Haha. Such an addict.

start August with a BANG!

Hmmm... What a start for my August.

I got online as soon as I woke up to catch Franco online and sure enough, he was. We had a nice conversation going and all that. As usual, he sacrificed precious rest and sleep to chat. Awww. He is such a nice guy even if he insists that he's such a badass. Haha.

Anywho, in the middle of our conversation, the company I was applying for called me for another interview. For the position I was initially applying for. I should be happy but I'm not. The trade off: getting that job would mean grueling training, hectic schedules and a generally toxic way of life. And I just realized I love the freedom I'm enjoying right now.

I know, I know. I wanted this position so much just a few weeks ago. I was adamant that I wanted to work for that company in that particular position. And now I'm getting a real chance to attain that goal. Lines from Daughtry's song runs through my head: "Be careful what you wish for, 'coz you just might get it all, and then some you don't want."

Decisions, decisions. Anywho, it's just for interview. It's not like they're begging me to take the job. Haha. I'm getting too far ahead of myself again. Tsk. Another bad habit I gotta break. Oh well.