ruminations on a sleepless night

Okay, I accept it. I probably won't be able to sleep for another hour or so. Even though it's way past two in the morning and it's cold--perfect setting for a nice, deep sleep. Bummer.

Anywho, I'm thinking to myself how lucky I am that though I don't have everything I want, I still have quite a lot. Not that I'm gloating, mind you. Just taking the time out to count my blessings.

For someone who doesn't eat veggies and lives a generally not-so-healthy lifestyle, I'm quite well and healthy. I have both my parents with me, plus the rest of the clan is just walking distance away. I have quite a number of good friends and two best friends I wouldn't trade for anyone else in the world. And I have Franco, who's all that I could ever ask for in a guy and more.

All in all, I'm blessed. I have always been, I just never was appreciative enough to realize it until now. My life's not perfect and neither am I, but that's okay. I like it that way. Flaws and mistakes color my world. Negativity always was, still is and will always be part of me, but I'd like to think I have enough sense now not to let it get the better of me--at least not always.

i shouldn't be getting stressed about this, ayt?

Hmmm... I think I'm getting a just a wee bit stressed about our upcoming trip. I've been searching and researching for several days now and I could not finalize a viable itinerary for our free time. Or the lack thereof, rather. It's frustrating not knowing the exact itinerary included in the blasted travel package so I could plan our free time accordingly. So many places to go, so little time.

Besides which, I'm practically on a shoestring budget so I'm torn between going for the cheap but chic stuff in the stalls and markets and the [sorta] high-end stuff which are supposedly more affordable there. I want to get something nice for my parents, for one. And it goes without saying that I want something nice for myself too. Duh.

so fucking happy! =)

Just finished chatting with Franco. For more thaln three hours. It probably consumed all but a few pesos of my load, but it doesn't matter. It was worth every friggin' cent. I so fucking love that guy!

my butt hurts...

...from sitting for too long. And my eyes too for that matter, since I've been staring at the computer screen for several hours already. I am such an addict. Tsk.

Used my new bag today, the one I got from eBay. To tell you the truth I only really appreciated the thing after using it. I mean, it's pretty and all, but I don't really use gurlaloo bags when going to the mall. I don't use gurlaloo bags, period. Just today. Though from the looks of it, I'll be using it more often. I love the darn thing now. =)

hindi lang ako ang adik

How cool is that that Franco also stayed at the hotel we'll be staying in when we got to HK? I was able to ask him earlier about his trip there a coupla years ago. He even gave me some pointers about what to do when we get there. Coolness.

I'm really glad I was able to chat with him today. It's rare that his crazy work schedule permits us to have some quality time. Tsk. He really should start looking for another, better job. Preferable one which won't wring him dry to the last drop. Sooner or later he's gotta realize that he's not invincible--he fucking needs to rest like the rest of us normally functioning humans do. What a guy.

excess baggage and inscrutable minds

Got the Mango bag earlier. Bummer I had to pick it up from JRS Express in Lemery instead of it being delivered straight to my doorstep like with Air21. But aside from that gripe, I'm pretty much satisfied with the bag itself. It's made of soft black leather with simple lines and nice details on the handles. Lovely.

Speaking of bags, Mama won the two bags she [I] was bidding on. One was pretty easy since there were no other bidders--I was able to convince the seller to end the auction early. However, I had to fight for the other, literally to the last minute. Seems someone else wanted the bag just as badly as my mother does, and posted a steep maximum bid. In the end I was able to beat her by a few pesos. Haha.

Anywho, I'm pretty excited about our trip. I went online and checked out the hotel we'll be staying in while there, and it looked pretty decent, if not downright classy. There's even a shuttle service for going downtown. We could check out the Temple Street Night Market without having to worry about how to get back to the hotel. Convenient indeed.

I don't even have to worry about the food. I mean, I vowed I'd try not to be so finicky and eat the local dishes, but if worst comes to worst and all they serve are veggies--though I doubt it--there's a McDonald's just a turn of a corner from the hotel. Potential lifesaver for a picky eater like me!

I have to remember to ask Franco about the food and the shopping and just about everything else since he's been there before. Pester him, more like, since he isn't exactly the type who'd launch into the whole story at the first question. Haha. Whatever. He's sure to kid me about it one way or another, but I'll get the truth out of him. He didn't call me Kulet for nothing after all. Ha.

Speaking of him, for the life of me I just could not get why he's so hell-bent on earning money. Scratch that, everyone wants to have money. What I meant was, why he still keeps working and working and working to the point of burning himself out. He constantly bitches about the stress from work, yet he actually seemed incredulous when I suggested he take a breather. Like, hello?

Still, inscrutable as his mind is sometimes, fact remains I love him, no questions asked. Is he lucky, or is he lucky? Haha.

online shopping addict

Bought another item from eBay. This time a black leather shoulder bag from Mango. I am now seriously addicted to online shopping, God help me. But it's so so hard to resist the temptation of oh-so-affordable designer stuff which I wouldn't dare buy in retail stores. Tsk.

Even Mama is now hooked. So far she's bought two tops and is currently bidding [using my account of course] on not one, but two bags at the same time. Talk about addiction. I guess it runs in the family after all. Harhar.

There, the seller of the Mango bag just texted me her payment details. Turns out she's just from Lipa and so shaved twenty pesos off the shipping fee. Not a lot, but still money saved. Haha.

Speaking of moolah, I gotta start looking for a job soon. My parents' good graces for my passing the board can only last for so long. Call me ambitious but I already want to work abroad even if I have no work experience yet here in the Philippines. It may be a long shot, but the potential payoff could mean the difference between a standstill career here and a better life. I'd take the chance.

Right now I'm setting my sights on Singapore since Electronics Engineers are pretty much in demand there and more than a few people are dishing out advice on how to get me started there. That, and the fact that I actually do want to go there in the first place. And I will too, just you wait.

we're going to hong kong!

Wheeeee!

I. Am. So. Happy.

We'll be leaving on December 4 and we'll be staying there for four days and three nights. We'll be returning on December 8. Too bad I'll be missing on Robert and Janjan's blowouts, but that can't be helped.

Oh well. You can't have everything.

But I'm still friggin' going to Hong Kong! Whaaaaaah!

excited [hope i'm not jinxing myself]

So. Looks like our trip to Hong Kong is really pushing through. We've booked travel arrangements with the agency earlier and bought suitcases. Talk about being excited. Haha. My two cousins and I have been going back and forth with the idea of traveling for a couple of weeks now but only managed to really agree to go some days before, when we got our passports.

Of course, the biggest consideration--obstacle, rather--is the expense. The whole trip, including the pocket money, could easily cost each of the three of us thirty friggin' grand. That's a whole lot of money for us regular folks. But God, and our families, must really love us that much to shell out the moolah for our trip. Sweet.

And I am so excited about that trip since it would be my first time to go out of the country. Same goes for both of my cousins. We're really really looking forward to it, especially since we'll be going to HK Disneyland. That ought to be a lot of fun. Whee! Not to mention the shopping. Oh my God, I am so looking forward to that, clotheshorse that I am.

Anywho, the agency's supposed to fax us the details like the final cost and itinerary by Friday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the final cost would not deviate too much from the initial quote unless of course it goes way down, which is highly unlikely anyway. Otherwise, the parental units could back out and withdraw the vital financial support--which means we'll be going nowhere. Ouch.

adik talaga

I'm okay now. I've talked to him. Just about ate up all my cellphone credits, but that is but a small price to pay for my sanity and peace of mind. Hehe. I am so friggin' in love with that guy.

hate this

I am getting damn pissed off. It's been more than a week since he last went online and chatted with me. I'm getting antsy due to our lack of communication lately. And he isn't online again today. Fuck. What the hell's the problem this time? Fuck.

MAGPARAMDAM KA NGA CARLO FRANCISCO MAYO!

something's missing...

I am still depressed. Maybe because I'm missing Franco so much. It feels like like ages since we last had any contact and it's driving me nuts just missing him so. Darn it, why does he have to have such an effect on me?

I should be happy. In fact there are a lot of reasons for me to be happy. I'm relatively healthy [except for a mild hoarseness of my voice, not that big a deal] and so are my family and friends. I passed the Board exam. I just ate pizza with my two best friends earlier--that alone should leave me high and happy for at least half a day, but did not work this time.

But I still feel rotten. Fuck.

the ordeal is over, thank God.

And so I passed the Board exam. I am now an engineer, albeit not yet a licensed one as I have yet to file for my license at PRC. But never mind. I still passed the blasted exams and that's it.

But after the euphoria of the last few days has passed, I am once again left with my angst and depression. I don't even know why. I am happy that I passed, yes, but still I feel empty inside. Fuck. I guess you really can't have your cake and eat it too, cliched as that sounds.

baha!

Oh. My. God.

Since when did Batangas City become a river city? I was definitely shocked when on the way here, I saw all running water on the streets. Especially along the way from Lawas to Hilltop. It was not this bad the last time I was here and it was raining. What the hell happened?

it is finished.

So. The much-dreaded Board exam has come and gone. After five or so months of studying [or cramming, as is in my case], agonizing, and generally going crazy with worry, we are now left with nothing but even more worry, agony , apprehension, boredom and a thousand other not-so-good things while we wait for the results to come in, probably sometime this week. Fuck. There really is no rest for the wicked, ayt?

As for me, I definitely do not want to spend my time sulking--or heaven forbid, crying--while waiting for the news that could only be either I pass or I fail. Darn, I'll go stark raving mad [not that I'm perfectly sane in the first place, but you get my drift] if I think any more about the blasted exam. Suffice it to say that at the very least, every one of us had a hard time, especially with the GeAs exam. That was definitely a killer exam, if there ever was one. Tsk.

Call it a state of denial, but I really just wanna pretend that nothing really happened, that I didn't take the exam, and that I just stayed here in Manila for a vacation of sorts with my classmates. I'm shutting everything that has to do with the Board out. I'm returning to my safety bubble of dreams and sweet delusions. Fuck reality.