hard-headed but learning

I will be leaving because I want to and not because I have to. And yeah, I'm talking about my job.

It's no secret in the office that she hates my guts and she's forever trying to get rid of me. She finally got her chance due to my own carelessness and pagiging pasaway. I got a memo earlier giving me 24 hours to explain why the company should not apply the appropriate sanctions--in other words, why I should not be fired.

Call me callous or heartless, but getting that memo did not evoke any strong emotion from me. Not anger, not guilt and certainly not fear. In fact, I all but shrugged it off. It just made me want to get as far away from the company as I could.

I have already written my reply to the memo, the so-called explanation why I should not get fired. And it was just exactly that--an explanation. I did not in any way grovel or beg for mercy. I guess I have way too much pride for that. Which means I only have a rather slim chance of staying with the company.

But guess what? I don't care. I was planning to leave as soon as I find another job in the first place. Yeah, I said before that I won't quit. But my leaving does not mean I'm quitting--I'm merely saving my sanity. And looking for greener pastures, so to speak.

My financial situation hasn't improved one iota with the job, and my idealism about prioritizing the experience over the money is fast vaporizing to mist. I got my head out of the clouds enough to see that I am not getting paid enough to sustain my own living. The truth stings, but it still is the truth whichever way I look at it.

Oh well. At least that's another lesson learned. Take it, charge it to experience and move on. That's all there is to it.