new girlfriend. mine, not his.

Right now I'm itching to post something--anything--but my poor brain, fried and all from all those sleepless nights, couldn't come up with anything decent to write here. Blech. That or my life is that boring these days. Geez.

Oh, right. Something good happened, I almost forgot. Tim, Franco's barkada's girlfriend. We've been corresponding for some time now, swapping stories and occassional advices about stuff. She's a great gal and we get along well, though we have yet to meet. Probably at their house blessing, since she invited me. Hopefully I'll get to meet the rest of the CCA boys too.

Speaking of Franco, I'm missing him as usual. Nothing new there. Haha. I learned some pretty nifty stuff about him in the course of my conversations with Tim. Some who-would-have-thought? stuff and some stories which just reinforce what I know about him. Basta. Haha.

licensed and all--but jobless

I jut realized the other day that inactivity breeds vitriol in my system. I suppose it's stupid that I only realized that now when it's been happening more or less my whole life, but there you go. Still better late than never, I say.

Inasmuch as I am a solitary creature by nature, being alone with my thoughts for too long starts corrupting my mind. Paranoia comes creeping in and starts insidiously twisting the multitude ideas in my head, often resulting in depression and a lot of imagined slights against me. The negativity just festers there and corrupts even the good thoughts. Not a good thing, whichever way you look at it.

It doesn't really help that I have loads and loads of free time right now. Being jobless sucks, although I do not regret my decision to resign from my last job.

I don't know about you guys, but I was raised to believe that finishing college [and passing the Board exam in my case] is my ticket to a good job and a good life after school. And after doing both... Ta-da! Reality check. Getting a decent job when you're a fresh grad is not easy. Even if you've got a professional license. More than once, I've been tempted to apply for a call center job just for the sake of having a job. No offense to those working in the BPO industry. It's just that going to all that trouble with a five-year course and a board exam and ending up with a job not using any of it is pretty hard on the ego. On that note, I would just like to clarify that my gig at Nu Skin is NOT a job and is something I'd continue doing when I get another job.

Oh well. Enough of my incoherent ramblings. Something will come along. Something always does.

And another thing, CONGRATULATIONS TO MY COUSIN KATHERINE A. DIOMAMPO FOR PASSING THE MEDICAL TECHNOLOGIST LICENSURE EXAMINATIONS SEPTEMBER 2008!

still alive

Haven't been online much these past few days. GSM/GPRS Internet connection sucks, that's why I rarely bother. Oh well.

I'm in BK right now, taking advantage of the free WiFi. To my delight, I caught him online. Rather he caught me, since I had no idea he's still up such late hour. Nevertheless, it's a good thing. Always a good thing, we talking I mean. I miss him.

akalain mo?

So. End of August. Tomorrow's Christmas. What with the -ber month and all. Haha.

Anywho. I'm glad to say my August turned out to be quite fruitful, mainly because I was able to finally--FINALLY!--file my LOI at Nu Skin so I could be an Executive with the company. Though truth is I'm still not quite sure how that happened. All I know is I really really wanted to do that so there, it happened. And I filed it on his birthday to boot. Not that it's a really big deal, but I just thought it quite ironic since he's so opposed to it in the first place. Oh well.

I hope September's even more productive. God help me.

busy getting closer to my dreams

Just got home. Had a rather tiring but productive day. Did a product demo in Batangas in the morning. Dropped off my CV at the local cable company. Met up with a friend in Alabang to discuss the business. And now here I am in Makati.

I'm so glad I went to Alabang. Despite the fact that I have never been to the place where I was supposed to go and have no idea how to get there. Rather, precisely because of that. See, I managed to arrive there in one piece and on time. I thought going to Makati would be a problem too since I again have no idea how to get here from Alabang, but God is good and I was able to hitch a ride from Venus and Fercy.

Tomorrow is gonna be another busy day. God help me.

yes, you CAN have it all...

me: i have just one last question for you: if the time comes, between me and your career, would you be able to choose? and which one would you choose? just curious.
him: it doesn't matter i'd still be left with nothing in the end.

No, I am not upset that he didn't choose me. Truth is I didn't even expect him to. But I didn't expect this answer either. Yet in a curious way, it touched me more than if he'd said he'd choose me.

I guess it's his way of thinking that got to me--like so many times before. Just when I think I've got him figured out, he says something that completely throws me off the track. And makes me realize all over again why we clicked right from the start. Little surprises every now and then can be really sweet. Especially if you take the time to savor it and end up surprising yourself even more with the residual smile it brings.

Besides, his words echo of the "BOTH" mentality which I'm still striving to attain. Meaning, you don't have to choose because you can have both. Yes, you can have it all. It's just a matter of conditioning the mind to accept that such a thing is possible. Everything just follows after that.

maybe i could dance my paranoia away? o.O

Okay, I get it now. I could choose how to start my day. Had a sucky morning yesterday because of my own paranoia--I let it get the best of me instead of rising above it. Stupid mistake, but at least I've learned. And that's the whole purpose of making mistakes, right? So charge it to experience and move on.

On a completely unrelated note, I have been having this rising urge to dance lately. Ballroom, hip-hop, whatever. I want to feel the music, just let the rhythm take over me. I miss dancing. One thing I regret now is not joining the dance or theater group when I had the chance, back in elementary and high school. Oh well.

Come on, lets's dance!

^_^

it all boils down to the decision

This day started out spectacularly sucky--I had a rather heated argument with Franco right after I woke up. What a rude awakening, eh? And our conversation ended on a vague note and truth is I wasn't sure if we're okay yet. So you could just imagine where the depression was coming from.

Anywho, I made up my mind that instead of just letting the whole thing get to me and ruin my whole day, I should get out of the room and its negative vibes and be with happy, positive people. In short, go meet with my team in the Nu Skin office. So that's what I did.

It's hard to wallow in self-pity or such when you're surrounded by all that positive energy. Really. You see, it's not just a business for me. It's also become a way of life. Because of this, I was finally able to shed most of the angst of the last ten or so years of my life. No kidding. Even the closest of my friends have a hard time believing that I--the queen of depression and sarcastic comments--could be this optimistic, yet could not deny that I indeed changed.

So there I was, just hanging out there and letting the morning's bad aftertaste slowly dissipate. It helped a bit that Rico was honing his makeup skills on Weng and In when I arrived, and proceeded to do my face too. Nah, I'm not a makeup-wearing kikay type of girl, but I do enjoy being prettified every now and then. Especially when I'm feeling down. Haha.

My productivity went up along with my mood. I was able to set up an appointment for a Galvanic Spa demo and make some important calls. Not too bad for half a day's work.

Oh, and yeah, I'm due for the medical examination tomorrow for the job I was applying for. Barring any untoward incidents, I'll probably be starting next week. Coolness.

you're NEVER gonna bring me down

Another day, a not-so-great start. Just makes me want to cry another bucketful more. Shit.

But never mind. Rather, mind over matter. I won't let this get me down. I'll go out, do what I have to do and have fun in the process. Even if all I wanna do right now is roll back under the covers, clutch my favorite sarong-turned-blanket and bawl like there's no tomorrow.

seems i'm still human after all...

For the first time in a long time, I cried again.

the start of a better ME

Action.

It's what's been lacking from my Grand Plan all my life. Too many missed opportunities that could have led to success. There's always the procrastination, excuses, the passiveness. There's not enough of that go-and-get-them attitude. All this time, I've been coasting on luck and chance, not relying on my own abilities as I should have been doing.

All these I confirmed as I listened to Pax earlier. He's one of NSE's top leaders and our group had a meeting with him earlier. More than just dishing out advice, he forced us to see what we choose not to see. Does that make sense? Or to put it in another way, he forced us to look for the answers to our own questions within ourselves.

It may sound rather pointless, but the truth is sometimes we just really need someone better or wiser than ourselves to voice out what we know but are too afraid or too lazy to point out. It reaffirms our own belief system to the point where we want to do something about it. To take the necessary action and make right that which went wrong. And that's exactly what happened to most of us in the group.

So from now on, I am taking every opportunity thrown my way and making the most of it. God help me.

new LOVE

Okay, it's official. I am now in love with Ava Puhi Moni shampoo.

After 48 years of being urged by friends to give it a try, I finally gave in this morning and used it. I was a bit surprised at the consistency--it was thicker than your average shampoo. Honestly, I didn't feel any difference after shampooing. In fact, I was like, "So this is it?"

But when I met up with my friends, they were like, "Ang ganda ng buhok mo ngayon, ang ganda ng bagsak." I told them afterwards that I used the Ava Puhi Moni that morning and they were like, "I told you so! And that's just with one wash." Okay, sue me for being so stubborn.

Just the same I'm really chuffed about my new discovery. Whee! ^_^

too much of a good thing

Had to reschedule the interview because of an upset stomach. Ate too darn much seafood and chocolates at the welcome dinner last night. But can you really blame me? I mean, I LOVE seafood and there were plenty [shrimps, crabs and calamari galore!] laid out literally in front of me. Just how do you expect me to have just a little?

expanding social circle, eh?

I'm so glad I went to the CS dinner at Dampa organized by Kaycee Sevilla of CS Manila. And it was a good thing too that In came with me. We met a lot of great people and had a lot of fun and laughs. I guess going out of your comfort zone can really be rewarding, as this experience taught me.

Rapunzel, Rapunzel...

Okay, so I'm obsessed with curly hair. That's why I sooooooo loved Emmy Rossum's locks and Franco's hair when it was long--he's had it shorn by this time by the way. It has always been my frustration having straight tresses instead. Of course I could have it permed or curled, but I don't want to risk the damage the processing could do to my hair. Growing out my hair to its current hip-length glory(?) is no mean feat, especially since I have never run a comb through it since college started. I kid you not.

As of the moment, I have no immediate plans of cutting any considerable length, only a trim every now and then. I've considered having the ends curled and then cutting them off when they get too dry or damaged or whatever, but for that I need even longer hair so that I'll still have long locks left when I cut them off. Haha. Such an addict.

start August with a BANG!

Hmmm... What a start for my August.

I got online as soon as I woke up to catch Franco online and sure enough, he was. We had a nice conversation going and all that. As usual, he sacrificed precious rest and sleep to chat. Awww. He is such a nice guy even if he insists that he's such a badass. Haha.

Anywho, in the middle of our conversation, the company I was applying for called me for another interview. For the position I was initially applying for. I should be happy but I'm not. The trade off: getting that job would mean grueling training, hectic schedules and a generally toxic way of life. And I just realized I love the freedom I'm enjoying right now.

I know, I know. I wanted this position so much just a few weeks ago. I was adamant that I wanted to work for that company in that particular position. And now I'm getting a real chance to attain that goal. Lines from Daughtry's song runs through my head: "Be careful what you wish for, 'coz you just might get it all, and then some you don't want."

Decisions, decisions. Anywho, it's just for interview. It's not like they're begging me to take the job. Haha. I'm getting too far ahead of myself again. Tsk. Another bad habit I gotta break. Oh well.

hope...

A lot can still happen in two days... If others can do it in one day, then I still have twice the chance to do it.

Thank you God, for IT IS DONE!!!

still alive and mushy as ever

After a week of hiatus, here I am back to documenting the bits and pieces of my life that I think worth telling the whole wide world about. Rather, those measly few who spare my rantings a few moments of their time to read. Whatever.

I just finished chatting with Franco. Call me weird but I found him especially cute, adorable and like-a-teddy-bear-huggable tonight even if he was frowning half the time in futile hopes of intimidating me into submission. Haha. Just made me miss him more. Tsk. The effect that guy has on me is phenomenal, I swear. Hands down. That I could even dare sound this sickeningly mushy about him in a public blog is a measure of his power over me. Beat that, huh?

Now before I start making the few readers I have barf at my lovesickness, I have a rather important if delayed news: I just quit my job last week. Long story. Or maybe not. Whatever. The bottomline is I got another memo for a fault which others make but do not ever get memos for, and instead of giving the requisite explanation within twenty-four hours why I shouldn't be terminated, I instead filed my resignation letter. That's that. And I never looked back.

So right now I'm doing my Nu Skin/Pharmanex business fulltime. While waiting for another job, that is. Although I must say I am quite enjoying my freedom right now. Hmmm...

bootcamp!

One word: INCREDIBLE!!!

how professional...

Up to now I still don't know if I should laugh or feel insulted. I mean, I took the exam. I'd like to think I passed since they called me back for an interview. The interview went well. But only after all that did the HR drop the bomb--that the position I was applying for had no vacancy. Indefinitely. WTF?

So I'm taking another exam or two next week for the available positions--both of which don't really appeal to me as much as the position I was originally applying for--even though the HR said I wouldn't need another interview. Weird.

But the weirder thing is I still wanna work there. Sucker.

and i'm actually in love with this guy... ^_^

Franco is possibly the most exasperating person I've ever met in my entire life--and believe me, I've met A LOT.

We almost fought because of his webcam, of all things [this is all your fault, Patchi! haha]. Long story. But the bottomline is he finally relented and used his webcam. The catch? He was wearing a pillow over his head with another pillow covering the rest of his face. As in. He wouldn't show me his face at all, saying someone might write his name on the Death Note. As if I don't know what he looks like underneath all those pillows. Geez.

I alternated between amusement and annoyance throughout our conversation, what with the pillows slipping down every other second and him scrambling to catch them and hold them in place even as he types his replies to my messages. But to his credit, I was laughing half the time at his antics. Haha. What a guy.

No, I won't even ask if those are actions of a normal person. But that's because I've long ago let go of my notions of "normalcy" in people, myself in particular. Quirks are quirks and his just makes him all the more adorable, pardon the mushy tone. Haha.

Anywho, he finally relented in the end and showed me his face--and the mess that is his long hair. Not that I'm anyone to speak regarding the messy hair, but that's not the point. I knew his hair was long, but I didn't know it was already that long. As in can-be-tied-back-in-a-ponytail long. Who would have thought?

Life really never does cease to amaze me. ^_^

ayaw ko maging palaboy

Darn. Looking for a new place to stay is turning out to be harder than I first thought it would be. I have to consider the rental first and foremost [preferably less than 10k and good for 4 persons], and of course, the location [it has to be somewhere between Makati and Eastwood City]. And we need to move in by this Sunday if possible. Seriously.

Anyone who knows of such a place, please please PLEASE contact me ASAP.

me, an analytical thinker?

Analytical Thinker (AT)
(Just visiting? Take the free personality test and determine your iPersonic type!)

Analytical Thinkers are reserved, quiet persons. They like to get to the bottom of things - curiosity is one of their strongest motives. They want to know what holds the world together deep down inside. They do not really need much more to be happy because they are modest persons. Many mathematicians, philosophers and scientists belong to this type. Analytical Thinkers loathe contradictions and illogicalness; with their sharp intellect, they quickly and comprehensively grasp patterns, principles and structures. They are particularly interested in the fundamental nature of things and theoretical findings; for them, it is not necessarily a question of translating these into practical acts or in sharing their considerations with others. Analytical Thinkers like to work alone; their ability to concentrate is more marked than that of all other personality types. They are open for and interested in new information.

Analytical Thinkers have little interest in everyday concerns - they are always a little like an “absent-minded professor” whose home and workplace are chaotic and who only concerns himself with banalities such as bodily needs when it becomes absolutely unavoidable. The acknowledgement of their work by others does not play a great role for them; in general,they are quite independent of social relationships and very self-reliant. Analytical Thinkers therefore often give others the impression that they are arrogant or snobby - especially because they do not hesitate to speak their mind with their often harsh (even if justified) criticism and their imperturbable self-confidence. Incompetent contemporaries do not have it easy with them. But whoever succeeds in winning their respect and interest has a witty and very intelligent person to talk to. A partner who amazes one with his excellent powers of observation and his very dry humour.

It takes some time before Analytical Thinkers make friends, but then they are mostly friends for life. They only need very few people around them. Their most important ability is to be a match for them and thus give them inspiration. Constant social obligations quickly get on their nerves; they need a lot of time alone and often withdraw from others. Their partner must respect this and understand that this is not due to the lack of affection. Once they have decided in favour of a person, Analytical Thinkers are loyal and reliable partners. However, one cannot expect romance and effusive expressions of feelings from them and they will definitely forget their wedding anniversary. But they are always up to a night spent with stimulating discussions and a good glass of wine!

Adjectives which describe your type

introverted, theoretical, logical, spontaneous, rational, analytical, intellectual, sceptical, pensive, critical, quiet, precise, independent, creative, inventive, abstract, eccentric, curious, reserved, self-involved, imaginative, unsociable, determined, modest, careful, incommunicative, witty

These subjects could interest you

literature, science fiction, philosophy, psychology, mathematics, Internet, drawing/painting, astrology, spiritual things, meditation, music, writing, strategy games, politics

a new blister. awts.

Right now I am so tired I am all but about to topple over from where I'm sitting. Good thing I'm sitting on my bunk. Haha.

I got a new blister on my left ankle, thanks to my leather Mary Janes. Darn. Much as I love the darn thing, it's just too harsh on my sensitive peds, even if worn for just a short time. Even the adhesive cushions I attached did not prevent the painful blistering. Awww. Good thing I'm wearing Chucks tomorrow. Thank God for small favors.

too damn far away

I miss him. BIG TIME. Our conversation last night just sharpened the pangs of longing I feel for him. Awww.

Up to now I still feel amazed and damn proud myself for being able to hold on this long. Patience never was one of my strong points and I have the attention span of a hyperactive five-year-old yet here I am still in a healthy long-distance relationship. Who would have thought?

Good, old L-O-V-E does that to you, I guess. Turns your world upside down, that is. Although that is hardly news anyway. That's just the way it is. There can be no other.

What I wouldn't give to just have him here beside me..

>.<

okay, so i look the part... big deal

What anime girl are you? (personality) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Goth You are Goth. This means you have black hair, black (and similar coloured) clothes... Just look at the picture! Goth 94% Cute 69% Quiet/Shy 69% Popular/Fun loving 44% Free 38%

pampering the biggest organ in the body

After a rather stressful day, was I ever so thankful to In for giving me a facial to cheer me up. Err, was I looking that haggard? Whatever. But it did cheer me up, aside from giving my face a clean, scrubbed glow. Whee!

Since I was still feeling pretty high from that when I got home, I decided I might as well go all the way pampering myself before going to bed. So I took a nice cold shower, exfoliated my skin with the Liquid Body Lufra and used Nu Skin Body Bar for the first time. God, it smells sooooo good. I just love its refreshing grapefruit scent. And oh yeah, my skin felt all nice and soft afterward. Heehee.

Okay, so I'm getting a feel for things I never even considered before. Skincare, anyone? I guess I'm making up for things I missed out on before due to my stubborn pride as a super low-maintenance, basta na tao kind of girl. Oh well. Never too late to start taking care of my little old self.

deception

Okay, so I know that what I did was wrong. Very wrong in fact. And yeah, I do have guilt feelings about it. But I just did it to keep from further digging my own grave. Can't really make things even worse for my situation here in the office.

Darn. This thing is starting to turn me into a monster myself. Gotta stop thinking about this if I am to retain even a modicum of decency.

starting over

With my impending doom at the company, I am already busy looking for a new job--with higher pay. And oh yeah, a new place to live too--with lower rent. The way things are going, I'll probably be starting from scratch. Oh well. Never too late to learn.

the perks of waking up early--or not sleeping at all

So. It's a hot, sunny Monday. The bosses are not around and here I am squandering time blogging. Not that I have anything to do in the first place. Oh well.

Just returned here from Batangas early this morning. Arrived at the condo sometime before 6:00 AM so I guess you could say I have quite some time to kill before going to the office. Just to keep myself awake, I went to the pool for an early morning dip. Then had a long, leisurely bath--I even took the time to condition my hair, something I don't usually do. Afterwards I cooked myself a simple breakfast of rice and chicken nuggets--I just remebered at the last minute that I left my can opener at the office so having meat loaf or corned beef is out of the question. I ate while watching TV--I lucked out and caught a good episode of CSI: NY.

So far, so good.

The day's just beginning though. A lot could still happen. But for now, I'm okay and having a nice time.

so much for my rehearsal

So there I was in the bath this morning, thinking up and rehearsing how I'm gonna tell Sir that much as I like working in the company, I need to go because of the current situation I'm in. I even dressed [down] for a quick getaway--an antisocial black statement tee, black jeans and black flipflops--fully intending to simply meet up with In and the rest of the pack when I get out of here. And then I go to work and discover he's on the way to Thailand. Meaning I am not going anywhere. Uh, can I say intervention of fate? Or simply bad timing? Whatever.

Thing is, at least with her gone out of the office as well, everyone's generally more laid back and cheerful. And I'm really chuffed because we had pizza--Yellow Cab Manhattan Meatlovers and Garlic & Shrimp, yum!--for lunch. My stomach is happy as the proverbial clam.

being positive is exhausting for a pessimist

Right now I feel depressed, empty and lost. My thoughts are so muddled to the point that they start contradicting each other. Pride vs. practicality. Optimism vs. fear. Mind vs. the body itself.

Life is threatening to overwhelm me yet again. I feel like I'm swimming in the middle of a stormy ocean. There's nowhere to go, nowhere to turn back, only the basic instinct to survive and keep my head above the water even as waves come crashing down on me.

Once again I just want to run silently into the night and come back only when I'm already forgotten. As if that is even remotely possible.

God help me.

LBM--Looking for Better Management

LBM na rin lang at LBM ngayon, sige panindigan na at maghanap nga ng ibang trabaho. Tsk.

it's not over

So. No reaction from the superiors yesterday. I thought that was the end of it. I thought.

He talked to me this morning, clarified a couple of things from my letter. Said that I was smart and had potential, but that I needed to learn how to follow rules. He was pretty straight-forward. He even told me right out that she's angry at me. But he didn't dismiss me. So I'm still here.

But I found out from a co-worker from another department that he's considering transferring me to their department--just to get me away from her. Seems he had a talk with them last night and he asked if I could work in their department. Which is good, since I could see myself working there. And I won't be under her anymore so she won't have any hold over me.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but as I see it he's not ready to let me out of the company yet. And it's a double-edged sword. I may still be in his good graces, but that also means I'm further antagonizing her since she's one jealous mama. Haha.

SKDY lovin'

Okay, okay so I have absolutely NO discipline when it comes to my self-confessed gadget lust. I couldn't even wait until someone bought my Sennheisers and went ahead and bought those Skullcandy Smokin' Buds I was salivating over these past few days. As if I really have the extra money. Haha. But I won't dwell on that.

For now I'd just like to focus on the music--I missed having my own bubble of music since I began to use my Sennheisers less and less frequently. Indeed, those reviews of the Smokin' Buds were correct. Bass is superb in something so small. My roommates had to call my attention by waving their hands and tapping me so that must mean the noise isolating part must be working. All in all I'm rather chuffed.

And the warranty is just awesome:

Skullcandy is proud to provide the best product warranty in the industry. If this product should fail in your lifetime, we will replace it at no charge. If the product is damaged by aggressive music listeners sliding a rail, sliding down the emergency ramp of your aircraft, slammed in your locker, slammed in your car door, run over by a car, running into a wall, getting run out of town, mountain biking, road biking, sky diving, beating your boyfriend unmercifully, getting beaten down by the man, blown up in an accidental experimantation with flammable substances, or damaged in any other every day experience, it means you are living your life the way we want out products used! In these, or any other damaging events, we will replace the product for a 50% discount from retail.
Love Skullcandy.

I kid you not--I copied that verbatim from the warranty card itself. Just how friggin' cool is that?

anything but THIS!!!

Horrors!

I am so freaking out right now, I couldn't even type straight. Shit. Our office uniforms have arrived and I want to cry. Two tops are pink *shudders* and the other two are sleeveless. Like hello? The horror.

This just makes me more determined to get out of the company. I can take more of her shit since I have thick skin, but PINK?!? The thought of wearing pink strikes fear into my heart as nothing could. Shit. Shit. Shit.

*runs screaming into the bright daylight*

getting paid to squander time

Okay. It seems I'm not going anywhere--for the moment at least. I passed my letter first thing this morning--printed using the company printer no less--but got no reaction from any of them, negative or otherwise. Whatever.

So here I am still at the office, whiling away my time blogging. Haha. Pasaway talaga. But then they're not here at the moment so it's okay. Damn the surveillance cameras--even if they do have pan, tilt and zoom functions. As if they have enough time to go through them and find out exactly what I am doing on my laptop. And it's not like I'm the only one squandering time anyway. Haha.

I sooooo want to go home and sleep. I swear I was so sleepy at lunchtime that I dozed off right then and there in the carinderia where we were eating right after finishing my lunch.

Anywho, I am so hating Kuya Bobby's choice of sounds right now. Uh, Jolina Magdangal, anyone? So I'm sacrificing my phone battery and playing some music of my own. Darn.

hard-headed but learning

I will be leaving because I want to and not because I have to. And yeah, I'm talking about my job.

It's no secret in the office that she hates my guts and she's forever trying to get rid of me. She finally got her chance due to my own carelessness and pagiging pasaway. I got a memo earlier giving me 24 hours to explain why the company should not apply the appropriate sanctions--in other words, why I should not be fired.

Call me callous or heartless, but getting that memo did not evoke any strong emotion from me. Not anger, not guilt and certainly not fear. In fact, I all but shrugged it off. It just made me want to get as far away from the company as I could.

I have already written my reply to the memo, the so-called explanation why I should not get fired. And it was just exactly that--an explanation. I did not in any way grovel or beg for mercy. I guess I have way too much pride for that. Which means I only have a rather slim chance of staying with the company.

But guess what? I don't care. I was planning to leave as soon as I find another job in the first place. Yeah, I said before that I won't quit. But my leaving does not mean I'm quitting--I'm merely saving my sanity. And looking for greener pastures, so to speak.

My financial situation hasn't improved one iota with the job, and my idealism about prioritizing the experience over the money is fast vaporizing to mist. I got my head out of the clouds enough to see that I am not getting paid enough to sustain my own living. The truth stings, but it still is the truth whichever way I look at it.

Oh well. At least that's another lesson learned. Take it, charge it to experience and move on. That's all there is to it.

it's not for everyone, but it's NOT A SCAM

I am sooooo happy that I was finally able to help someone through Pharmanex. That lucky person is a friend and college classmate, May. My group introduced the company and products to her and she was thrilled because she would benefit a lot from it. Case in point: her chronic asthma. One speaker shared that using one of our products, CordyMax, helped strengthen her lungs such that a couple of months after taking it, she no longer needs to bring her inhaler when going out--something she could not afford to do before. May hopes the same would happen to her. We are all positive it will be so.

Anywho, we both had a facial care of In and a makeup session with Elmer before having a very late [second] dinner with the gang at Shakey's in Blue Wave. He made her up all sweet and nice while he made me up telenovela-antagonist-glam, if you get my drift. Said he based the makeup on our personality. Haha. We had fun, even though we both are not used to wearing makeup.

It was all in all a fun, productive day for all of us. I'm so happy I met In, Elmer, Weng, Bless and everyone else on the team. In the short time I shared with them, they had already helped me to become a better, more positive person.

In relation to this, I was reading other blog entries by various people regarding Nu Skin, Pharmanex and MLM businesses in general. Not that I am biased because I am part of it, but I find most of the negative entries and comments rather amusing and slightly misinformed. If I had a weaker will, maybe I would have gotten disheartened and just quit altogether. But then again, I could have done that first time I read those posts when I was asked to join by a [then] total stranger, no less.

You might say it was risky or stupid, joining when there's all this negative hype and feedback by all those bloggers and commenters. But believe me, I had my own share of doubts and discouragement from family, friends and Franco--in fact we even fought about it. He was adamant that it was a scam and that I was a big fool for falling into that trap. It stung, but I just held on to the thought that he just didn't want me to get into a mess I couldn't get out of instead of focusing on his words.

But the bottomline is this: I sincerely believe that the company could indeed help improve my life and those of others. That is why I took that risk. There were no promises of easy money or get-rich-quick schemes. Just like with everything else, for it to succeed, effort must be made. It is a legitimate business--its reputation is just getting tarnished by some misguided partners. Most people there are honest, hard-working people. And, contrary to popular belief, are an educated and cultured bunch. I've met doctors, accountants and engineers who gave up their jobs to work full-time for their businesses. Tell me, if you're a licensed professional earning more than decent money, would you give that up for something much less?

I am neither trying to convince nor asking anyone to believe me. I believe that you who are reading this is much too smart for that. All I want is for people to at least know my take on the whole Pharmanex/Nu Skin/MLM issue. I am a real person and this is my experience I'm talking about, not just some shit I heard from so-and-so. Think about that before jumping to any conclusions.

swak na swak

Another birthday meaning--this time from the Birthday application in Facebook:

November 10, 1985

Lucky Color:	Saffron
Personality Strengths:	Confidence, Strength
Personality Weakness(es):	Pessimism
Successful Career Path:	Fashion
Sense of Humor Style:	Campy
Adjectives to Describe You:	enterprising, daring
Also born on November 10:	Meet them now
Description: A hip non-conformist who truly stands for his/her beliefs - you are out to make a difference in this world, and you have a realistic chance of success. You have always been self-driven and derive your inspiration from those close to you. Ambitious - and why shouldn't you be - the sky is the limit for you!

practicality reigns supreme

After a lot of deliberation on earphones, headphones, practicality, what I want and what I really need, I came to the conclusion that despite how cool it looks and how good it sounds, those silver and purple Skullcandy Lowriders are simply too bulky for everyday use. Sure, my Sennheiser PX100 is also larger that your average earphones, but at least it can be folded to a manageable size and kept in its own custom hard case.

So I decided that the next best thing for me to get would be the Skullcandy Smokin' Buds:

It's small, inconspicuous [compared to the PX100 and the Lowrider] has an inline volume control and a carrying case. I've read reviews and as was the case with the Lowriders, they sound pretty damn good too. The bass is unbeatable in an in-ear type earphone. And the best thing is they cost just a little more than half the Lowriders. My only worry is if it would fit my ears comfortably and not pop out every minute or so.

I'm buying one as soon as I sell my Sennheisers. A couple of people have already shown interest, but no final deal has been reached. Hopefully, I would have sold it by the end of the month. Then I'd have a new set of cans in July and some extra moolah besides. Not bad. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

my very own LV bag--and it's authentic too =]

Scored myself a real, honest-to-goodness authentic vintage LV bag. A lilac Epi Petit Noe. Complete with the dust bag, serial number and all. Big, BIG thanks to my aunt and uncle who gave it to me. I'm too lazy to actually take a pic of it since I left my camera and phone cable in Batangas, but I found this pic on the net, which is exactly what my bag looks like, sans the tag:


Now, before you go thinking I'm a label-freak, let me make one thing clear: I got this bag for free, otherwise I never would have paid any amount of money for it. I would like to think I still have a shred of practicality left in my body. Gadgets are an expensive enough caprice as it is already, thanks very much.

G-Pass and kumpupanda!

Out of sheer impatience and annoyance at the long queue in the MRT station earlier, I impulsively bought a G-Pass. And so far it worked just fine. The small transaction fee charged by Globe is a pretty negligible trade off considering the time you save not queuing to get tickets.

Anywho, I watched Kung Fu Panda with In, Elmer, Weng, Rico and Rachel earlier at Shangri-la. Fun movie, highly recommended for kids and kids-at-heart alike. It also helped that I enjoyed their company as well, not just the movie. It's simply hard not to feel good yourself when your companions are so full of positive energy. That's why I like being with them. Anything good just seems possible.

FOR SALE: black Sennheiser PX100 Headphones

Includes the earphones and the hard case. I'm not selling this because it's defective, I just need money right now. One ear foam is missing, otherwise it is in perfect working condition. It can be replaced, I just have no time to look for extra foams.

Price: Php1800

Payment terms: COD

Meet-ups can be arranged, either in Makati or Ortigas (MegaMall). Batangas City will do too. =]

Contact number: 0916-6134416

Headphones Specs
Transducer Principle - Dynamic, open
Frequency Response - 15-27000 Hz
Nominal Impedance - 32 Ohm
Weight Wo Cable - 60 g
Characteristic Spl - 114 dB(SPL)
Ear Coupling - Supra-aural
Distortion - 0.10%

Connectors
Connector - 3.5 mm mini-stereo

dreams, lessons and an old diary entry

After that powerful speech by one of Pharmanex's top businessmen, I suddenly realized how little people I know who still have dreams. Rather, who will go out of their way to fulfill their dreams.

The truth is, though I have been with the company for less than a month, I can honestly say that I have already learned a lot. And one of the most important things I learned is that most people don't get what they want because they don't even know what they want in the first place. It may sound stupid but I've found in a lot of occasions that this is true. Asked on the spot what they would do if they had a million dollars and all the free time they could want, most do not even know what to do with either. Which is rather pathetic, contemptuous as that makes me sound.

I know what I want. I have dreams. And I have every intention of making them come true. It may take a lot of time and effort, but I have both in abundance. I'm young and in the prime of my life. I'll be damned if I let anything or anyone take my dreams away.

On a completely unrelated note, I just found the following post in my old blog. I was in the depths of depression and bitterness then. If I'm not mistaken, that was an actual entry from my old diary. Here it is:

my friend, you will never know how much damage you caused me. you made me fall, you made me love you, but in the end you let me fall anyway to the cold hard ground and caught somebody else in your arms. and left me for dead on the ground. you walked away without a backward glance, to see if i incurred any bruises, welts or broken bones. or maybe you know. you do know but are too much of a coward to face the wreck you've caused.

up to now i'm still reeling from the blows that came my way since you left. blows that came from no one else but me. from my stupidity, my gullibility, my vulnerability. i was once hurt and though i could never love again, but then you came and proved me wrong. you showered me with affection, with love, with life. you told me i could bounce back to life and helped me do exactly that. i was grateful and happy that you did. you raised me back from the dead, a feat impossible to achieve yet you managed anyway. you became my hero, my protector, my salvation.

so how was i supposed to know that you'd later be the cause of my undoing? i wish now that i've never known you, that you've never entered nor touched my life, that you've never existed in my world. but i know that's impossible. i knew you, you changed my life and now you've ruined me.

i'd like to think that someday i'd be back to normal, or esume any semblance of normalcy i once possessed, but somehow i think i'll never--i can never--go back to that. you've damaged way too big a part of me for me to pick up the broken pieces of myself and be whole again.

is there no more hope for me? i loved too much, trusted too much, left nothing for myself. and the worst thing is that all of that was for nothing. the person whom i loved so much, given so much of myself, is gone. you're gone my friend. gone and left me here all alone to deal with the mess that you left behind. the mess that's none other than me.

i hate you. i want to hate you. i want to love you. i still love you. you inspire so much emotion in me that one mention of your name sends my whole being to another dimension where the only things that exist are me, the hurt and your absence. it hurts so much. i want you to know, i want you to feel even just an inkling of what i'm going through because of you. but i know you can't. you can't because you won't. you now live in another world, a world where i don't even exist. you won't have anything more to do with me because of what i am. because i threaten your security, threaten the perfect little world you created after you left me. because you know me too much. you know how much havoc i can wreak if you let me enter your world once again. so you shut me out and leave me in the cold.

where are the promises you once made? where have the friendship and love gone? have you buried everything we shared in the back of your mind--or forgotten them all altogether? do you still know me? am i that easy to forget?

so many questions, no way to find the answers. fuck you my friend. fuck you for all that you are and for all that you've done. you will never be forgiven, much less forgotten. for as long as i live i will never forget what you did to me. you will never be in peace until i say so. in the back of your mind, in the silence of the night, in every time you stop to think and assses your life, you will think of me and remember the person you saved from misery only to drown in sorrow later on. and you will never forget. you can never forget.

clinging to the past, catching up with the present

If anyone had told me a couple of years ago that in two years' time I'd be roaming the streets of Manila from a part-time gig after midnight, I would have laughed like a hyena and called that person crazy.

But that exactly was the case earlier. From the training in Ortigas, which ended past 11:00 PM, I went back to Makati, alternating between walking, bus, walking, jeepney then walking again. Knowing I had nothing to eat back in the condo, I ended up in the 24-hour bakery nearby where I bought chocolate hopia, a couple of pan de sal and iced tea. And I just have to mention that the queue to the counter took forever, sorely testing my patience which was already wearing thin because of my growling stomach.

And speaking of my stomach, my adik roommates were still up when I got back to our room. And they just had to order pizza. And there went my meager discipline--out the window and into the smoggy night. The day I am able to resist pizza will be a monumental day, believe me. It has happened only once before, and that was only because I was so deep in depression that my appetite for everything temporarily went away.

Anywho. I just found one of my old blogs. It was bittersweet going through my past entries. I missed being the girl who wrote those very words. Where has she gone?

Friendster Horoscope for June 12, 2008

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)

The Bottom Line

You've been tossing a few new ideas back and forth -- today you should pick one.

In Detail

Change is more than good for you right now -- it is absolutely necessary! You've been tossing more than a few bright and fresh new ideas back and forth in your head, and today is a great time to pick one out and start moving forward on it! It doesn't matter whether it's a new career, a fun trip somewhere, a new health regime, or just a new haircut -- moving into a new phase has never felt so right. Taking control of your life is always a good idea.

-------------

I totally agree with the last sentence: Taking control of your life is always a good idea. Control is what I've been sorely lacking in some areas of my life. So it really is a good idea to finally do something about it.

I find it amusing that I actually did something resembling taking control of my life before I even read this horoscope. The things I did earlier--generally, organizing all my haphazard bits and pieces--are actually things I've been thinking of doing for a while now but kept putting off for tomorrow or some other day. Weird or what?

i guess i hate having nothing to do after all

I didn't go to work today. Partly because I still have a hangover from the heatstroke(?) I suffered yesterday--due to the heat, I had a huge headache, leading to throwing up everything I ate for the day. And that was during office hours, mind you. Barfing on the toilet bowl while my head feels like it's gonna split into two and tears are running down my face is not an experience I'm looking forward to in the future. But enough about the disgusting details.

Mostly I was just sick of myself. This far gone in life and I still get lost in my own dreams and reality. I was feeling pretty low. Life is overwhelming me once more and I needed to touch ground before losing my sanity.

I found solace in work. Not work as in my day job, but physical work. I cleaned the clutter on my bunk, changed my bedsheets and organized my closet. After running some errands, I also dropped by Kopi Roti [in Ayala] for a cup of good, rejuvenating coffee as a small reward for myself. From there, I walked to Chino Roces. It was by no means a great distance, but the brisk walk helped to clear my mind a bit more.

One of these days--preferable when it's cloudy--I'd just go walking aimlessly around Makati. I just realized miss walking around just for the heck of it.

i need YOUR help

Just where can I buy earphone foams for my Sennheiser PX100?


I lost one of them and now I can't use the blasted thing. It's just plain awkward and rather painful too. Tsk. And besides, how can I sell it if it's missing an earphone foam?

Oh, and yeah, I am indeed selling it if anyone's interested. I bought it for Php2,700 at Abenson in SM Batangas. We can haggle about its selling price, just contact me. Aside from the missing ear foam, it's in perfect working condition. Loud volume, plenty of bass. Can be folded for easy storage, has its own hard case. Here are the specs from the Sennheiser website:

Transducer Principle Dynamic, open Frequency Response 15-27000 Hz Nominal Impedance 32 Ohm Weight Wo Cable 60 g Characteristic Spl 114 dB(SPL) Ear Coupling Supra-aural Distortion 0.10%

sacrifice, love and triumph

I gave the last of my LifePak stash to my Lola--that's my paternal grandmother. She needs it more than I do. She's 85, has had a stroke a coupla years before and is rather weak, as could be expected. I do hope it makes her feel better and stronger like it did me. To my other [maternal] grandmother, Inay Po, I gave OptimaOmega to stabilize her fluctuating blood pressure. It's the least I could do to make their lives just a bit easier.

Anywho. Another reason for loving my gladiators: I wore them for a whole day without getting blisters or hurting my feet. That may seem mundane, but to me that is a BIG deal since it's rarer than a blue moon that I find new footwear that treat my feet well. Hell, even simple flipflops give me blisters if worn too long, that's why I practically live in my Chucks, which I can wear with socks to protect my peds. That's why I'm sooooo loving those damn gladiator sandals. Haha.

On a completely unrelated note. The last time I checked, I've lost 3.3 lbs. By all standards, that may not seem much. But if you take my appetite and capacity for eating into consideration, it suddenly becomes a lot. If you don't believe me, just ask any of my friends, roommates or co-workers and they'll all tell you how much of a glutton I am. Promise. So how did I lose weight? One word: MetaboTrim. It's so good, there are absolutely no side effects. Just good, old weight loss. Need I say more?

winding down

I got my gladiator sandals yesterday and wore them to work today. And got a lot of compliments for it too, the cute thing. Haha.

Anywho. It's going to be a long weekend, what with the June 9 holiday--Independence day moved? Whatever. Like hell I care. As long as I get some extra rest, that's good enough for me. So I'm going home tomorrow after meeting with In at Ortigas.

more music please!

Oh. My. Gosh.

I just saw the most adorable earphones EVER. Hands down. Presenting...

the silver and purple Skullcandy Lowrider

Just how friggin' cool is that? It's the first gadget ever to arouse my gadget lust as of late--aside from the D-SLR cameras of course--and justifiably so. I mean, it's not just the looks and the color--even though I'm a purple freak. The tech spec is just as good:

• Speaker diameter - 40mm
• Magnet - NdFeB
• Frequency range 100 - 18,000 HZ
• Impedance 32 ohms
• Max input power 400 mW
• Cable type OFC
• Cable length 1.2 M
• Plug type 3.5mm gold plated

I've read reviews too, and even professionals from the sound-recording industry are impressed. That oughtta be good enough for little old you and me.

I am seriously considering selling my Sennheisers on eBay and getting this instead. God.

Silver... Purple... Loud music... Boomy bass...

Pass the drool bucket please.

taking LifePak in place of vegetables i don't eat

I need to sleep. No shit. Everyone does. But I'm a hopeless nocturnal who has a day job. Go figure.

Anywho, I didn't take LifePak for a couple of days--probably the reason why my system crashed this morning. Staying up all night and having to work the next day never bothered me before. I still had the energy to go up and about. But after staying up till 4:00 AM last night after a tiring day, I woke up with the sensation of my head spinning on its own. Not the best feeling I tell you. That's why I didn't go to work.

So now I learned my lesson. I'm never missing my daily dose of LifePak. Promise.

mid-year assessment

So. After a few days' hiatus, I am back. And it's already June. Time sure flies, doesn't it?

And what have I got to say for the nearly half year that has already passed?

Let's see. Let's enumerate rather:

• I got a job. In fact I'm already halfway through my contract. And hoping to get renewed.
  
• I live all by my lonesome away from home. Okay, so I do have roommates, but I still am technically alone given that I never knew any of them until I met them.
• I have not one but two part-time jobs. Although I can hardly find the time to make both work. I'm focusing on just one in the meantime.
• I've met and kept in touch with both high school and college friends.
• I've learned to appreciate my family and friends more.
  
• I'm still in an LDR with Franco. Who would have thought I had the patience or the endurance for such a thing?

Not bad. Though I still am not satisfied with all those. I still want a lot more. Like:

• Success in my full-time and part-time jobs.
• Franco. Here. Now. *lol* Okay, so maybe now is not possible. But at least he'll be coming back next year.
• Enough money to subsidize my parents. It's about time I gave back something for what I've put them through. They deserve ever-lasting happiness just for that, believe me.
• A D-SLR. Preferably a Canon EOS 40D or 450D or a Nikon D80. In time for my birthday too. Gifts would be much appreciated. ^_^
• More friends, contacts and connections. Turning into a social animal, aren't we?
• A healthier body. This I really have to work out for since I'm the anti-thesis of good health as is it right now.
• A normal body clock. Being nocturnal has its perks, but I want to be "normal" again even for just a short time. Though I definitely do NOT like direct sunlight.

I know I'm wishing for a lot. But so what? Libre lang mangarap, as Jay Contreras of Kamikazee sings. Besides, these are not just pipe dreams. I do have every intention of fulfilling each and ever one of them. God help me.

squeaky-clean hair once more

After 48 years, I was finally able to find a bottle of clarifying shampoo. And it was totally what I needed. My hair is not greasy anymore. You can't imagine my happiness when I finally got my hair squeaky-clean again. Whee! My hair could finally breathe after all this time, thank the good Lord.

And another bout of gratitude that Robert, Grace and I were able to get out of the office before 8:00 PM unscathed. Haha. Although tomorrow is promising to be another long, loooooooong day. But no matter. At least we have each other to commiserate with when things get too tight.

shampoo and Sex and the City, part 2

So. I was able to make it to the premiere of Sex and the City at Mega Mall after all. And what can I say? Just read my über-short review here.

Oh, and I still hadn't the chance to buy the motherfuckin' shampoo as I barely made it in time for the movie. Damn.

shampoo and Sex and the City

Just how the fuck could that be? ShopWise carried all sorts of shampoos--moisturizing, volumizing, organic, anti-dandruff, even lice-annihilating shampoo for crying out loud--but they don't friggin' have any clarifying shampoo of any kind!

So I resigned myself to another wash with my regular shampoo--for the second time today--when I got home. Tsk. Yeah, I'm that desperate/paranoid about my hair.

Hopefully, tomorrow it won't rain too hard so I could go meet up with In at Mega Mall and finally get ahold of a bottle of the stuff. Speaking of which, she's got tickets to the premiere of Sex and the City and was über-nice to invite me to go with her. Oughtta be fun. =]

bad hair day

A clarifying shampoo is on top of my grocery list for tomorrow night. Tonight rather, seeing as it's already way past midnight. Err. Whatever.

Thing is my hair is greasy beyond recognition right now and I'm desperate--as in really desperate!--to get rid of whatever gunk has accumulated in there. Argh! As if I even use a lot of hair care products aside from the usual shampoo and occasional anti-frizz serum. I guess not styling or combing past waist-length hair just does that. Or I'm just having a really REALLY bad hair day. Geez.

PROJECT proud FILIPINO

From http://gfolio.multiply.com/photos/album/117#74

Actually, I'm more a proud Batanguena than a proud Filipino. Oh well.

damn stubborn, hard-headed chick

Just spent the last hour arguing with Franco about my other part-time job. Well, not exactly arguing. More like he's trying like hell to talk me out of it and I'm resisting, stubborn as the proverbial mule. I know he's just concerned and doesn't want me to get myself in a mess and I appreciate that, but this is something I really want.

I want to make this work. I really do. And I fully intend to do everything in my power to make it work--and prove him wrong. The guy is just too damn sure of himself--well, concerning me at least--and I think it's high time I do something to shake that, even just a little bit. Haha.

Don't get me wrong. I love him, there's no question about that. Absolutely. But it really wouldn't be healthy for both of us for me to keep stroking his ego when what I really want is to give him a good shake on the shoulders, don't you think? Besides, a little argument every now and then breaks routine and keeps things interesting. And believe me, keeping things interesting takes a lot of effort when there's half a world's distance between the two of you.

But before I go into a rambling spree about the finer points of having and keeping a long-distance relationship, let me just point out that I actually acknowledge that he may be right. I am not so blind as to overlook that possibility. I told him as much--it's just that I want to give this a shot and see the results for myself before making any conclusion, whether good or bad. That's just the way I am--I seem to have this masochistic streak and want to learn always the hard way. Tsk.

feelin' so damn good =]

Right now I'm happy.

Tonight is the first time I went home really late--for me anyway--at past 11:00 PM. Why so late? I went into the meeting for my team in my other part-time job and ended up hanging out and having great conversation with my teammates. What's really great is the solid support from the whole group. Each one is evaluated, affirmed and advised. All without it all feeling like a real job although it most surely is.

I know it doesn't make a lot of sense the way I'm writing about it, but then I don't really need everyone's completely understanding of what I'm saying everytime. Suffice it to say that I just am really happy about all of it right now--I meet great people and I get to learn a lot. The financial rewards would come in time, but right now I want to learn everything and anything there is to know about the whole thing first. Steady does it.

Anywho, even though I got just a little more than two hours of sleep last night--this morning rather--I had a lot of energy throughout the whole day. Quite a change from my usual early-morning stupor and generally sluggish disposition. Just ask my officemates and housemates. And no, it's not that I'm hyper due to caffeine or something. Wanna know why?

My best [and actually only] guess is this I'm already feeling the effects of LifePak--even though I just started taking them yesterday. And no, LifePak is not an upper or stimulant, contrary to what you might think. It's just a dietary supplement a friend recommended to make up for my not eating vegetables and generally living an unhealthy life. And I must admit that it does its job effectively--and rather quickly too I must say.

This early, I already am an advocate, cynic that I am. Haha.

i think i need help

It's almost 5:00 AM and I still cannot sleep. Shit.

obsessed

I want to lose weight. Even if my roommates and co-workers all raise their eyebrows when I tell them that. They're okay with my figure. I'm not. That's all there is to it.

Besides, I know for fact that I've gained weight. I was a couple kilos heavier when I measured my weight last week. Tsk. All those late-night pizzas are catching up with me. And let's not forget the tightening of my clothes. As it is, I do not exactly have the luxury of providing a complete new wardrobe to accommodate the added bulk.

Life. Tsk.

But I promise to get rid of the extra baggage, one way or another. ASAP.

i believe

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

--Paolo Coelho

a brief summary of Sir Lito's birthday party

Seafood--lots and LOTS of it.

Cakes--seven of Red Ribbon's best.

Wines--both red and white.

Beer--San Mig Light, Pale Pilsen, Pale Pilsen Light.

Videoke--complete with drunken dancing.

Kwentuhan--secrets, advices, gossip.

Revelations--what you see, what you hear, when you leave, leave it here.

Fun--a Bacchanalian feast is what it was.

Birthday Calculator

10 November 1985

Your date of conception was on or about 17 February 1985 which was a Sunday.

You were born on a Sunday
under the astrological sign Scorpio.
Your Life path number is 8.

Your fortune cookie reads:
Your life will be happy and peaceful.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path number 6.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 7 & 9.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2446379.5.
The golden number for 1985 is 10.
The epact number for 1985 is 8.
The year 1985 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/20/1985 and ending 2/8/1986.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Ox.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Snake; your plant is Thistle.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Tyby, the first month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 26 Heshvan 5746.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 27 Heshvan 5746.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.12.8.15 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 12 tun 8 uinal 15 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Sunday, 26 Safar 1406 (1406-2-26).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 7 April 1985.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 14 April 1985.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 20 February 1985.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 26 May 1985.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 2 June 1985.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Monday, 16 September 1985.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Saturday, 6 April 1985.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 19 February 1985.

As of 5/16/2008 2:52:41 AM EDT
You are 22 years old.
You are 270 months old.
You are 1,174 weeks old.
You are 8,223 days old.
You are 197,354 hours old.
You are 11,841,292 minutes old.
You are 710,477,561 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:

Chris Joannou (1979)	MacKenzie Phillips (1959)	Sinbad (1956)
Donna Fargo (1949)	Tim Rice (1944)	Roy Scheider (1935)
Richard Burton (1925)	Claude Rains (1889)	Martin Luther (1483)

Top songs of 1985

Say You, Say Me by Lionel Richie	We Are The World by USA for Africa
Careless Whisper by Wham!	Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon
Money for Nothing by Dire Straits	Shout by Tears for Fears
Broken Wings by Mr. Mister	I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner
The Power of Love by Huey Lewis & the News	Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.21839530332681 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your lucky day is Tuesday.
Your lucky number is 9 & 11.
Your ruling planet(s) is Mars & Pluto.
Your lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th.
Your opposition sign is Taurus.
Your opposition number(s) is 6.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 178 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 23 candles.

Those 23 candles produce 23 BTUs,
or 5,796 calories of heat (that's only 5.7960 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.63 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1985 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1985 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1985 in the US there were 2,425,000 marriages (10.2%) and 1,187,000 divorces (5%)
In 1985 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1985 the population of Australia was approximately 15,900,566.
In 1985 there were approximately 247,348 births in Australia.
In 1985 in Australia there were approximately 115,493 marriages and 39,830 divorces.
In 1985 in Australia there were approximately 118,808 deaths.


Your birthstone is Citrine

The Mystical properties of Citrine

Citrine is said to help one connect with Spirit.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Yellow Topaz, Pearl, Diamond

Your birth tree is

Walnut Tree, the Passion

Unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egoistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromises.

There are 223 days till Christmas 2008!
There are 236 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waning crescent.

loooooong hair

As promised.

For the life of me, I could not see any likeness to Marian. Go figure.

By the who, judging by the first pic, I could probably go topless without revealing anything. Just a thought. Haha.

do i really look like dyesebel?

I don't if it's mass hallucination or what, but my co-workers all agree that I resemble Marian Rivera. Yes, Dyesebel herself--except for the tail part, obviously.


And no, I won't be a hypocrite and deny that I am flattered because indeed I am. Hell, it's not everyday you get likened to a pretty girl. Might as well enjoy their delusions while they last. Harhar.

Although the only thing I could readily admit to resembling her would be the length of my hair. Watcha think?

I'll post pics of me with my long hair later when I get home. For comparison purposes. *smirk*

vampiress wannabe

I just noticed that my gray contact lenses served to make my already pale face look even paler. Couple that with my messy, past waist-length hair and you've got yourself a contender for the part of a vampiress or some other otherworldly creature in a B-movie--all that's missing is the flowing Victorian lace gown and a couple of deadly-sharp incisors. Haha.

erase, erase

Out of the numb/depressed stage now, I decided I won't leave just like that. Not if I can help it. I owe it to Mr. L since he's the one who hired me and not her. I won't let him down.

close to the end?

Looks like my days at 911 Alarm is coming to an end. Before leaving for good this morning, a co-worker tipped me off that I'm gonna get terminated. She's just looking for the opportunity to do so. And yeah, it was still because of that Labor Day episode. So before I get fired, I'm gonna resign. Although of course I'll make sure I have another job before I leave.

How sad.

I accepted this job full of ideals and good intention. And for what? I'm getting fired because of a whim. It's shattering, disillusioning, hurtful.

I guess I'm still numb. Even though the other new Sales was fired just yesterday--when I wasn't here at the office by the way. Even though I could see for myself that the employee turnover here is indeed alarmingly high. Even though several others are already planning to resign too.

So much for my first job.

Right now I'm grieving for my impending resignation. Because the truth is I like this company, I like this job. I tried my best. But she just had to butt in and ruin everything.

I know I promised I wouldn't let her ruin this for me. But I know I've got to bail out of this before things get worse. Self-preservation comes before pride, I guess.

Shit. I hate this.

going home =]

I'm going home for the weekend. My cousin's in the hospital. She was rushed there last night because she got spooked by what she was watching--MMK, I think--and her chest tightened so she had difficulty breathing. Poor girl. Although she's just being held there for observation and might be coming home this afternoon.

Anywho, it's Mothers' Day tomorrow and I have no idea what to give my mother. And it's not like I have the extra money either--seems I'm perennially broke these days. Pathetic. But never mind. I'll scrounge off the last of my savings for something for her. =]

This... Is... SPARTA!!!

Could somebody please explain to me why I am sooo lusting after a pair of gladiator sandals like this?
















I want! I want! I want!

Seriously. Although I have to have a pedicure just for this. And of course, the money to buy the damned things. But I still want them. Damn.

promise, I'm not suicidal

Right now I am so loving the piano version of Gloomy Sunday, otherwise known as the Hungarian suicide song.

Not that I'm suicidal. Okay, so maybe at one time past in my life I nearly was, but not this time. But let's not get sidetracked.

It was Patrisha who introduced the song to me. I got intrigued because of the story and controversy behind it. Although I admit I was apprehensive about actually listening to the song. I've got a history of depression although I've been in remission for several years now and I have no intention of dying just yet--intentional or otherwise.

They say curiosity killed the cat, but thankfully it did not kill me even after I listened to the supposed suicide song. And just as Patrisha said, it was beautiful in its own haunting way. Call me morbid, but I really do find the melody beautiful.

all-day stomach ache

Kamusta naman at maghapong masakit ang tiyan ko?

So much that I had to go home before the work day is over. It didn't really help that the only source of nourishment I had were those cookies I bought for lunch sometime way after lunchtime. I just slept the pain off when I got home a little past four.

I feel marginally better now after that nap and a decent dinner of mushroom soup, rice and chicken. Personally, I think it was the soup that calmed my stomach. But then that's just me making an attempt at self-diagnosis despite my lack of medical knowledge. Harhar.

By the who, I've submitted a written work to my part-time employer. So far, he liked my work. Now, if I could just pull off that other piece I'm supposed to write..